Club you to death

Author: Anuja Chauhan
Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

Full points for entertainment! 

Disclaimer: All the characters, thoughts and ideas are hypothetical. These do not relate to any living, dead or to be dead. 


Anyone who reads knows, the phase of a reading slump. It could be a readers block or a bad book that’s dragging you and your reading pace. We all need something to get us back, and for me that’s Anuja Chauhan. A complete roller coaster with cheeky gorgeous women, goofy handsome hunks, and Delhi ka lively and laughable Punjabi characters. The mother daughter gentle nudging, the sexy flirting of a budding romance, the father daughter bantering and a good dose of scandals and gossips. All to meet the incidence hunger of her enthu readers. There has to be some ex-army tadka, a backdrop of a brewing political national issue. 


As a serious reader, pretentiousness is a must. You can’t simply be reading Chetan Bhagat and call yourself a bibliophile. Book lovers would prescribe you serious literature and the holy of all books - the ‘non fiction’ genre aka the key to greatness. In contrast, Anuja keeps it light and leisurely. She writes well, keeps an engaging plot with lot of heart and humor. She gets my kind of wit, irony and sarcasm. My go to when the grey enters my mind, showing me light and shaking me up to believe that life can be all happy and laughable, even when people are doing frauds, cheating, war and murder. 


Look at her witty lines:


‘We’ as in royalty? Or ‘We’ as in schizophrenia?


Sab kuch ekdum cool and professional on top, but underneath oho, underneath it was all salsa and lalsa and goodbye Guru ji ka khalsa!


Further, as the book title suggests, there is a death in a club. The works of a poison. There was a snide reference that it must be a woman’s job. A stereotype or a passing notion. Women can kill non poisonous way too and they don’t have to be crazy to do it. They can be plain murder machines and cold blooded murderers. Lady serial killers are rare or possibly they never get caught. After ‘Basic instinct’ I started believing that women murderers have to be either a nymph or full of crazy. 


However, as a women I started thinking. Poison is an intriguing murder weapon. It’s the easiest and cleanest way to go. Although the easiest murder also means easy to be caught. Women in particular would choose it as they have the fastest route to a person’s stomach (again feeder or kitchen owner is a role taken or probably given to us). Poison requires no showing of physical prowess and can be easily executed with some planning. It is easily available off the shelf, although not the most potent. 


My husband and I were taking a walk. I asked him quite hypothetically ‘how he would kill, if he had to ever.’ He of course started with that he would never kill. Then I suggest hypothetical scenario where some man murders his wife and child. He then went into the scripted role of Varun Dhawan in Badlapur. He was particular about how a good revenge would involve  a gruesome bloody vicious cutting of people. 


We continued walking thinking of these grotesque scenarios knowing fully well that these are far beyond our reality. Feeding on the violent creativity of cinema and books, we could choose to live a typical middle class urban life. Touch wood! Even though there are days I would hypothetically imagine clubbing people, l wouldn’t want death on my worst enemy. 


I wonder what kind of people are those who kill. Sometimes without reason. Sometimes for love and many nameless emotions in the name of love. Love for power, money and another. Mostly it’s hate. It’s the instinct inside someone that violence takes over. The fear and the crazy hiding inside one. I haven’t met a murderer. Probably that’s what I should aim to meet and interview. May be there is a story there. One story, many sides. (Quoting Ghachar Ghochar) 


Even as I speak the film rights of this book are already sold. It will make a good paisa vasool Bollywood film. Given the character descriptions I have taken a stab at the possible casting:


  • Kashi - Kartik Aryan, cute and confused 
  • Bambi Todi - a new launch like a Younger Sonam Kapoor or Ananya Pandey
  • Urvashi Khurana - An aeging actress like Madhuri Dixit 
  • General Mehra - Amitabh Bachan, could try comedy for a change. It would be quite an irony, how Bachan plays Mehra in a movie about Mehra’s brave act in the book. 
  • Bhawani Singh - Pankaj Tripathi 

And I can bet that Anuja had kept him in her mind for ‘Bhawani Singh’ even though in her acknowledgments she says otherwise. But he fits the role like hand to a glove. 


Full points to Anuja for entertainment! 




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